Skip to main content

10 Week Update (Posted 7/20/2016)

Safe to say that it has been a while since I wrote. Many things have changed and improved, but a lot is still the same. On June 30th I had my check up with my neurosurgeon to see how I was doing. They weren't pleased with my lack of movement in my upper body and neck, so I am now in physical therapy and massage therapy. I am also now on gabapentin which is a nerve pain medication to help with my sharp throbbing pains coming from my scar and going to the front of my head. So far all of those things combined seem to be working, but I know I still have a long ways to go, especially with Cornish only being less than six weeks away.


Six weeks. That's six weeks to get as close as I can to where I was before things became bad. Six weeks to prove to myself that this has all been worth it. Many people I've talked to keep thinking that surgery was a cure for my Chiari..


 Chiari Malformation is not curable. 


I'm getting to the point in my recovery when I start to figure out what my surgery did for me. Before surgery, my spine was extremely stiff. When physical therapists messed around with it, nothing would really happen. I can definitely say that it is not as stiff anymore, but I am still unable to have a high arabesque or combre derriere. That's okay. I can work around that. I now have all feeling back in my right side of body and have full use of my hand once again and that was definitely the most important thing to be fixed. Everything else, all of my other symptoms, they have seemed to stick around. The fatigue, chronic pain, occasional times where it's hard to swallow, nausea (although it has significantly reduced), loss of balance (mainly when attempting to dance), and the obvious terrible head pain. I'm still in recovery mode and I have to keep reminding myself that. Things could continue to get better, but I know that no matter what, I will be sick until the day I die. That sentence sounds harsh, but reality is harsh, and there's no way around it.


I will always have high spirits and positivity, just because that's how I am and that's how I was raised. However, it's okay to be scared. It's okay to literally want to cry every second of a bad Chiari day. In all honesty, the main reason I didn't write a post in awhile was due to the fact that I didn't want to type out how I feel or face reality. It took a long time to be "okay" with the fact that I'm "forever sick," and I still have a far ways to go, but the drive I have, the drive that I know deep deep down is in me will pull me through. Chiari sucks, being constantly sick sucks, but once I can fully 100% accept that this is reality, the more I can focus on where I know I need to be. Yes I will set unrealistic goals for myself and yes I may overdue it every once in a while (...or every day...), but if I don't, I will never see what I am capable of, and I will miss out on parts of life that I still, by the grace of God, get to live, even if it's not as full as I would have lived it before.


The support I receive is beyond comprehendible. Thank you from the bottom of my full full heart.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

3 Months & Counting (Posted 8/8/2016)

Hello everyone. It's about time for another update! Many things have happened in the past three weeks, but I just find it weird that I'm a day away from my three month post-op mark. It feels like it was just yesterday that I was still a freshman at Cornish moving out and trying to prepare for the surgery itself! July 24th-31st I was able to be in Huntington Beach, CA with my best friend Megan! It was such a perfect getaway, nice and relaxing. It was so great to see her and to be able to escape my reality, even if it was just for a week. I could write about that trip for hours, so I will just keep it at that so I don't begin to ramble. When I got home, I didn't give myself a break. The next day, I took a contemporary class, taught a class, and went to physical therapy and I did pretty well I have to say! I've been working really hard in my rehabilitation process with physical therapy and massage therapy and it's been helping a lot. At my 6 week appointment, I was...
Post a Comment
Read more

2 Weeks Post-Op (Posted 5/23/2016)

I cannot believe it has only been two weeks since I had my massive surgery. I can honestly say that I am pretty darn proud of how far I have come since May 9th. On a side note, I was trying to create a mid-week post, but for now at least I think updating once a week through my blog is most beneficial for myself. This way all of my followers can get a summary of how things are and I can reflect on my personal progress! So here we are. This past week has been a lot easier than the last. After my puking incident, we were able to get my pain under control and have it stay that way consistently. I was noticing a pattern of what times during the day I get tired or need rest and when my pain is increased. By switching some of my medications around on my time schedule, I was feeling a lot better and more relaxed (to the highest degree a brain surgery patient can be). Wednesday was my first day out of the house since Oliver's adoption and it was so successful! I'm going to be honest and...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 4 Post-Op (Posted 5/13/2016)

Well, I had my surgery! Check in time for it was at 6am, so I was up bright and early along with my whole family. My anxiety level was through the roof as expected. The first nurse then called me in and took me back to registration and I had my mom come with me. At that point I had changed into my gown and was on the hospital bed with an IV line in me. It was all happening so quickly and I was so scared that I started crying. Oh and of course I am the youngest patient in there... But my nurse Jenn at that time was super nice and helped me out and so did my mom. Then I had to say goodbye to my family and go down into pre-op and OR. I started crying again during pre-op cause there were so many weird noises, oxygen tanks, needles, and bright bright BRIGHT big lights. My anxiety was even higher. So after I met my anesthesiologist, I was given a calming medication (aka "happy juice") and right after they inserted that into my IV. After that moment, I blacked out and don't reme...
Post a Comment
Read more